on 29 October 1999Following its recent problems in fulfilling orders for G4 computers, Apple has announced a change in production methods. In recent years the company has employed a JIT (just in time) model, where machines are built at a few hours’ notice to meet immediate demand. It will now switch to a revised strategy known as NOT, or ‘new orders tomorrow’.
Under the scheme, Apple will ensure that, at any given time, new computers have been announced yesterday, and production facilities are available to manufacture them tomorrow, but none will actually be delivered today. The company believes this system has a number of practical advantages, which it promises will be clearly defined the day after its next quarterly results announcement, when Wall Street analysts are too hungover to care.
The rethink is to be launched at a press conference tomorrow by Jacques Lecon, the former Berkeley professor appointed yesterday as Apple’s interim vice president of theory. ‘Ze pre-order for ze Mac,’ explained Lecon, speaking through a goatee, ‘what does eet signify? Eet speaks not of ze Mac, but of ze wanting of ze Mac. Literally, ze Mac is “wanting” – zere is no Mac. Until we speak of eet, eet cannot exist. Yet until eet exists, ’ow are we to speak of eet? Of what do we speak? So we may say ze Mac is “delayed”. Yet what can resolve zees delay? Nossing. Only in zees delay do we find ze Mac which is signified. Wizout ze delay zere is no Mac. So we may say ze delay is ze Mac. In manufacturing infinitely ze delay, we deliver ze Mac.’
A spokesperson for rival computer maker Dell, renowned for pioneering the low-inventory manufacturing model, commented: ‘I don’t have a clue what this means, but we’ll do it next year.’
Apple resellers welcomed the plans. ‘Until now, we’ve had to set aside costly storage space in anticipation of product shipments,’ remarked a leading UK dealer. ‘Now we know we’re not getting anything, we can rent the space to Burger King. This will generate revenue, unlike the futile attempt to sell non-existent Macs, while Apple customers still awaiting their orders can enjoy a tasty flame-grilled snack.’
Apple’s stock price was not affected by the move, but Burger King’s shares rose 500% amid speculation that the company was to be bought by Sony, Disney or IBM, or that it might do something on the Internet.
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